Pumpkin picking time

Pumpkins to the left, pumpkins to the right… — Clyde Robinson/Flickr

It's pumpkin season and rural neighborhoods like mine are under siege as hordes of folks clog the roads in search of the Great Pumpkin — or maybe just a great pumpkin.

The eager masses creeping down congested two-lane roadways have a shopping cart full of harvest-time options. There are bushels of crisp apples, bundles of cornstalks, cider (hot and cold) and rank upon rank of potted mums — not to mention hayrides, corn mazes and haunted houses. (Never mind that the locals can't get much of anywhere on fine, sunny weekends in October.)

No matter what the added attractions might include, the pumpkin is the thing.

Smooth-skinned, smelling of earth and heavier for its size than you would guess, a pumpkin is not just an oversized vegetable, but an object of true affection. I dare you to pass a big one without itching to give its solid, crayon-orange sides a little pat. Broccoli and cauliflower never had it this good.

Somehow, people young and old, sane and less so, look at a curcubit and see a canvas. Traditionalists carve them into old-fashioned jack-o'-lanterns with gap-toothed smiles, lighted from within by a candle. For a variation on this theme, try turning your pumpkin on its side, stabilizing it by slicing the bottom flat and using the dried stem as a nose.

If you are in a carving frame of mind, I just want to say that there's more stringy pulp and gooey seeds inside a big pumpkin than you probably remember. Have a big bowl handy during the evisceration. Here's one useful tip: Keep the cut edges of your Jack from turning brown and funky by lightly coating them with petroleum jelly.

The latter-day technique for turning a pumpkin into a personality is paint. Avoid tempera and poster paints, since these don't adhere well and tend to flake or wash off. Go for acrylic paint, sold in little tubes (good) or little pots (better) at any crafts store.

Vaseline on cut surfaces will help fend off rot. — ewan traveler/Flickr

My mother was always lobbying for paint on the grounds that the intact pumpkin later could be transformed into pumpkin pie, with the decorated skin discarded. This was small consolation for me, since I usually got stuck with the pumpkin-scraping chores (see stringy and gooey above), which had no real amusement value in the post-Halloween period.

If you have little intrinsic artistic talent, stencils are a good way to go. Such websites as spookmaster.com and pumpkinlady.com have free, downloadable stencils that can be "sketched" on the pumpkin in a series of pin-pricks for carving or outlined with a pen for painting.

There are two things to bear in mind: First, execution of the more elaborate designs will cut into your television-watching time. And second, be sure to allow paint to dry thoroughly before adding a second color adjacent to the first, an obvious point that's easy to forget.

The fun doesn't stop with giving pumpkins a happy (or menacing) face. There are those who hollow out giant pumpkins of 700 pounds or better, turning them into "curcuboats" for a festive, if clumsy, paddle-powered race. If you don't believe me, try googling "pumpkin regatta."

There are creative rants to be had from tongue-in-cheek protesters at the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Pumpkins and People for Ethical Treatment of Pumpkins, both online. Contribute your own diatribe about the "torture" of innocent pumpkins "incapable of making independent decisions about their lives" — or take the contrarian view.

Just when you thought is was safe to go back in the cornfields, along comes the hotly contested sport of pumpkin hurling, or "Punkin Chunkin" as promoters would have it, a practice that PETPU no doubt deplores. There are human-powered, catapult and centrifugal events, but the biggest deal involves loading a 100-foot-long air cannon with a hefty pumpkin and lobbing it to distances exceeding a half-mile.

The annual Punkin Chunkin festival, held recently in Delaware, fell on hard times during the pandemic and is currently looking for a new home. Check it out at punkinchunkin.com and look for this year’s press release.

Meanwhile, pumpkins remain a versatile plaything. Grab one and have some fun.